hey you can find me over at cinecriture.tumblr.com
remade because I’ve already been told I’m r*tarded/ brain dead/ deserve to die etc so come join me over at @cinecriture for some nice discourse free art and film
I was thinking of remaking anyway because I’m sO bored of engaging in discourse with people who think they know more about my own experiences than I do so if you follow me for my regular content you can find me now at @cinecriture
Ok I am DONE.
Thanks to the people who disagreed with me in a respectful and thoughtful manner even if you think the response to my experience isn’t right.
The rest of y'all need to get. it. together.
Honestly when I meet cishet white able people who are still fucking up their own lives I’m like… how? Like I know people who have been given every opportunity and say they hate their lives because homework is stressful or they don’t have a gf/bf or they can’t afford some fancy coat or some nonsense am I’m like????????
How about, everyone’s problems are their own so how about don’t judge them?
“Even though I don’t know all cishet white able people at all on an intimate level, can I ask how your personal stuff I know nothing about messes up your life???”
Please consider re-reading my post I’m not saying it’s annoying when privileged people are upset because of things that effect everyone I’m talking about when people you know have so much going for them that the worst thing in their life is not being able to have constant leisure/have sex/get unnecessary material goods and they repeatedly complain about it to people who are trying to deal with things that they’ve never even experienced
Well its not like you’ve ever experienced some of the stuff that they go through, so maybe you should let them vent instead of complaining that they’re privileged. Just because someones privileged doesn’t mean they have constant leisure/have sex/get unnecessary material goods, they might have other problems you don’t know about holding them back, and maybe you don’t know about them because they dont feel comfortable expressing their problems around you because people like you will dismiss their problems because of perceived privilege.
it’s just a matter of perspective, @nonbinarbee.
To make an example, if you’ve never been poor and struggling with getting paid at all, and the worst thing that has happened to you is that your boss paid you 100 euro less than usual, someone who is poor and barely paid will think “big fucking deal I barely get paid while that’s a twelfth of your monthly income!”. But someone who never struggled financially will not have that experience so from their perspective that’s the worst economic injustice that they can possibly imagine.
To make a less extreme example, there are a lot of things that seem trivial to me, but I try to keep perspective in mind. I live in a country that’s fairly conservative, until recent years I never even saw a LGBT group anywhere close, so when I heard people in more liberal places complain that their LGBT groups have issues I thought “ok but you *have* LGBT groups! I barely know anyone like me and they all live super far! Why do you complain?”.
Now that things are getting a bit more open here and I’ve been to LGBT groups within walking distance, I can understand more having complains, even if I still am instinctively irked when someone’s worst complaint is that their LGBT group is not ideal. But I try to keep in mind that they have a different perspective, and in fact it’s a good thing that they can complain about that instead of “I was assaulted for being GNC and everyone around me is openly homophobic and transphobic so now am terrified of not conforming to gender roles”.
I understand it’s alienating/weird when compared to your experiences, someone else’s seem very underwhelming and trivial. There’s a lot of times when I hear people complain about a minor gripe that I wish was even a thing I could worry about, but from their perspective they can’t really conceive the idea of going through, for example, suicidal ideation, or extreme dysphoria, or being assaulted for not being cis and straight, so they won’t even consider that their situation is not all that bad because that’s as bad as it gets for them.
(As others have mentioned, also, being privileged in some ways does not necessarily equate to having trivial problems. But I wanted to address the reason why people who do have trivial problems make such a big deal out of them.)
Honestly this is the only sensible reply I’ve had that disagrees with me I totally get what you mean I’m just in a situation where I get this SO often that it’s driving me a bit bananas. I totally get what you mean though and it’s one of those things where I get that if you’ve never known worse it seems so bad but I just hate being the person it gets lumped on when I have my own nonsense to be dealing with.
Honestly when I meet cishet white able people who are still fucking up their own lives I’m like… how? Like I know people who have been given every opportunity and say they hate their lives because homework is stressful or they don’t have a gf/bf or they can’t afford some fancy coat or some nonsense am I’m like????????
Guess what? Everyone has their own problems and just cause someone’s white or Cis doesn’t automatically mean their life is perfect in every way
Remember that
I’m sorry your homework is stressful
Since you wanna play that asshole
My father died 5 months ago
Me and my mother just BARELY hold on to keep our house
My mom still cries herself to sleep
I still need to look for a job to help pay taxes
Go fuck yourself with this mentality that cause someone is white or Cis their life is perfect or they don’t have much issues to deal with
You don’t know everyone
So your little assumption game makes you look like a shitty personGo ahead and find homeless white people and tell them that they don’t have it that bad
Or young white kids in foster care that lost their parents
Go ahead
Tell them that and I hope you told off
That sounds horrible for you. Also- not relevant to my original post. Someone saying “I’m grieving and poor” is no way something I’d ignore or dismiss and it’s awful and facing loss is one of the worst things in life. But literally nowhere did I say that? At all. The three examples I have were about inconsequential things that only seem important if everything in your life is otherwise peachy. Also… I literally am a homeless white person and even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t tell people they had it easy because they obviously don’t. However if I walk up to a homeless person and say “wow I hate my life because I don’t have money for that designer jacket” I’d be an asshole. Which is exactly what I was saying originally. And the only people who pull that shit which I’ve had to deal with over and over come from that demographic that doesn’t face systematic oppression.
friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:
Honestly when I meet cishet white able people who are still fucking up their own lives I’m like… how? Like I know people who have been given every opportunity and say they hate their lives because homework is stressful or they don’t have a gf/bf or they can’t afford some fancy coat or some nonsense am I’m like????????
How about, everyone’s problems are their own so how about don’t judge them?
“Even though I don’t know all cishet white able people at all on an intimate level, can I ask how your personal stuff I know nothing about messes up your life???”
Please consider re-reading my post I’m not saying it’s annoying when privileged people are upset because of things that effect everyone I’m talking about when people you know have so much going for them that the worst thing in their life is not being able to have constant leisure/have sex/get unnecessary material goods and they repeatedly complain about it to people who are trying to deal with things that they’ve never even experienced
Yeah except people, regardless of whatever qualities, can complain if they want, about anything, to anyone
all this cishet white homeless men.
Like, all they had to do was cash in their privilege checks, amirite?
And even if OP is only talking about cishet white able-bodied neurotypical non-homeless people, there are still problems that they’re going to face. Loneliness, the death of loved ones and friends and pets, stress, being overworked, addiction, arguments with family, bullying, non-chronic/debilitating health issues, and so on. EVERYBODY goes through shit and everybody deserves sympathy, even if their shit doesn’t seem as bad as your shit - there are people in the third world who are starving and dying in horrible ways, but that doesn’t make your shit any less valid, so your shit doesn’t make someone else’s any less valid.
~ Vape
Oh and let’s not forget that mental illness (or almost any illness for that matter) doesn’t discriminate.
ABLE
friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:
Honestly when I meet cishet white able people who are still fucking up their own lives I’m like… how? Like I know people who have been given every opportunity and say they hate their lives because homework is stressful or they don’t have a gf/bf or they can’t afford some fancy coat or some nonsense am I’m like????????
How about, everyone’s problems are their own so how about don’t judge them?
“Even though I don’t know all cishet white able people at all on an intimate level, can I ask how your personal stuff I know nothing about messes up your life???”
Please consider re-reading my post I’m not saying it’s annoying when privileged people are upset because of things that effect everyone I’m talking about when people you know have so much going for them that the worst thing in their life is not being able to have constant leisure/have sex/get unnecessary material goods and they repeatedly complain about it to people who are trying to deal with things that they’ve never even experienced
Yeah except people, regardless of whatever qualities, can complain if they want, about anything, to anyone
all this cishet white homeless men.
Like, all they had to do was cash in their privilege checks, amirite?
It’s really great that you care about the struggles of homeless people! It’s a very serious issue. As a homeless man myself I’ve been talking to a lot of other white homeless men recently and I’ve not met a single one who wasn’t gay, trans or disabled, it’s a shame that our most vulnerable members of society are so often forced out onto the streets. It’s also incredible how this has literally nothing to do with my original post! It’s almost like people are using the struggles of the homeless to feel better about themselves when told that it’s shit to pile emotional labour onto people who are dealing with issues concerning their own safety and well-being.
friendly-neighborhood-patriarch:
Honestly when I meet cishet white able people who are still fucking up their own lives I’m like… how? Like I know people who have been given every opportunity and say they hate their lives because homework is stressful or they don’t have a gf/bf or they can’t afford some fancy coat or some nonsense am I’m like????????
How about, everyone’s problems are their own so how about don’t judge them?
“Even though I don’t know all cishet white able people at all on an intimate level, can I ask how your personal stuff I know nothing about messes up your life???”
Please consider re-reading my post I’m not saying it’s annoying when privileged people are upset because of things that effect everyone I’m talking about when people you know have so much going for them that the worst thing in their life is not being able to have constant leisure/have sex/get unnecessary material goods and they repeatedly complain about it to people who are trying to deal with things that they’ve never even experienced
Yeah except people, regardless of whatever qualities, can complain if they want, about anything, to anyone
all this cishet white homeless men.
Like, all they had to do was cash in their privilege checks, amirite?
And even if OP is only talking about cishet white able-bodied neurotypical non-homeless people, there are still problems that they’re going to face. Loneliness, the death of loved ones and friends and pets, stress, being overworked, addiction, arguments with family, bullying, non-chronic/debilitating health issues, and so on. EVERYBODY goes through shit and everybody deserves sympathy, even if their shit doesn’t seem as bad as your shit - there are people in the third world who are starving and dying in horrible ways, but that doesn’t make your shit any less valid, so your shit doesn’t make someone else’s any less valid.
~ Vape
What about white homeless men??? Me, a literal white homeless man: CHILL
As the Person With Everything Going For Them Who Feels Like Shit Because Homework Is Hard in my group of friends i can assure yall if you think complaining about your shit 24/7 to your friends who face severe problems every day of their lives, and acting as though they don’t know what you’re going trough or like you have it worse than them is an awful thing to do and please stop doing it.
Which is, in fact, what OP said, and not “priviledged people have no problems worth adressing! >:^( ” like you all seem to have read it as?
Oh my gosh THANK YOU. Like honestly. At no point did I say that you can’t have real problems because you’re born into a well treated demographic I’m just so exhausted by people who obviously don’t know what it’s like constantly having the lower hand complaining that they can’t afford Gucci or cute boy won’t smooch them.